10 Strategies for Winning an Argument With Coworkers Without Making Them Hate You

10 Strategies for Winning an Argument With Coworkers Without Making Them Hate You Arguments with coworkers are inevitable. Conflicts may arise during projects, collaborations, or day-to-day rolleality clashes and tensions. While small-scale tiffs may bedrngnis require you and your coworker to hash it out, larger-scale conflicts may demand a conversation.So how do you win every argumentor, rather, resolve a conflict and influence peoplewith a coworker without making her hate you?How do you argue effectively? 10 Strategies1. Dont let it simmer.Lets say your team made a mistake, and your coworker let you take the blame. Youre probably feeling hurt, confused, and angry. So what do you do now? Do you let it stew since confrontation can be awkward?In a smaller-scale conflict, ignoring the argument and moving on might be the best approach. But if something feels like a big deal to you, youre probably not going to let it go. If you sit on it and let it simmer, youre probably going to get in creasingly angry, which might lead you to a full-blown fight.If something is bothering you to the point where youre preoccupied with it, dont let it sit there. Ask the other person if you can speak privately. That way, youll be able to articulate whats bothering you without having it escalate into a debate.2. Start sentences with I.When you do argue with a colleague, deliver your points from the I perspective. Rather than saying, You do this, explain how the other persons behavior makes you feel. Starting sentences with I feel pushed aside or Im upset because keeps you from casting blame on the other person, and will make it less likely for her to respond in a defensive manner.3. Stay in control of your emotions when you argue.If youre screaming at your coworker, youve already lost. Your arguments and position will carry mora weight if you articulate them thoughtfully and reasonably. While it may be difficult to explain your point of view without getting emotional, try your hardest to keep tears and anger at bay.4. Stick to facts.Facts carry more weight than feelings when youre arguing with someone. If youre making a good argument, you will describe whats absolutely true, and the other person will have a difficult time arguing with you. While you may want to go a step further and explain how her behavior affects you, starting with the bare facts will help you solidify your point and lay the groundwork for the thesis of your argument. Keep in mind that the other person may dispute facts with you however, if the truth is on your side, you have the upper hand.5. Be honest without being rude.Honesty is important in an argument. However, if your honesty veers into meanness, your opponent may have trouble sympathizing with your point of view, since youve likely hurt her feelings.For instance, if your colleague consistently parks too close to your car, you might be tempted to accuse her of having poor driving skills. Instead, stick to the parteicular situation at han d. Explain that it has been difficult for you to open your door. Perhaps you have a specific incident to use as an example. Ask her to watch the space to make it easier for both of you in the future.6. Avoid arrogance.You may feel oben liegend to a colleague. You may be right. But whether you are or not, being arrogant is a surefire way to lose an argument.Even if you rank higher on the totem pole than your colleague does, acting like youre better than she is isnt going to impress her. Having an attitude that suggests Im right, because Im a manager, and youre an associate is probably just going to anger her further. For the specific issue at hand, your rank probably doesnt matter.If you feel superior for other reasons, such as assuming youre right and shes wrong, youre probably not going to get very far, either. As difficult as it may seem, entering an argument with the assumption that youre on equal footing is probably the best way. That way, you can articulate your position and re ally listen to what the other person is saying without automatically assuming that youre right and shes wrong.7. Play devils advocate with yourself.You may think that theres no earthly way your opponent could be right. If you enter an argument with that perspective, you probably wont see or understand why she believes what she does. Rather than automatically assuming shes a terrible person, try to understand why she believes what she believes or did what she did.Going back to the initial example, try to put yourself into your colleagues shoes. Why might she have let you take the blame for a mistake that wasnt wholly your fault? Did you play a larger part in the error than she did, which could lead her to feel like more responsibility rests on your shoulders? Or did you direct the efforts, which might indicate that you should assume a larger part of the blame?Try to play devils advocate with yourself. Most people dont have malicious intentions, so its important to understand their mo tivations for their actions. Recognizing where people are coming from will help you have a more productive discussion. Youll be able to understand their actions and explain why something rubbed you the wrong way while demonstrating compassion for the way they behaved.8. Allow your opponent to speak, and listen when she does.In an argument, two or more people share their opinions. You may want to give a speech, but its not your distributionspolitik to do so. Your opponent has a perspective, too, and you need to appreciate that.Formal debates allow opponents equal amounts of time to articulate their points of view. You should do the same. If youve been talking for a long a time, and the other person hasnt been able to get a word in edgewise, then give her a turn. If youre not letting her respond, then youre demonstrating that you dont really care about a resolution you just want to talk.Listen when she speaks. Really listen. Doing so will enable you to consider her perspective and ana lyze it in terms of your own behavior. She may have reasons for her behavior that havent occurred to you. She might even propose a resolution that works for both of you.9. Propose a viable solution.Be prepared with a resolution that could work for both of you. Its likely that you will both need to compromise a little in order to resolve the conflict. Make sure that you will be satisfied with the result, though, before you propose the solution. Also consider how she will respond and whether or not she will be satisfied. If you dont take her perspective into account, you make be at a standstill forever.10. Let it go.How do you calm an argument?Once youve reached an agreement, the argument has reached a conclusion. Its over. Dont gossip about it with other colleagues or friends. That will only perpetuate hurt feelings. If youve reached an agreement about how to go forward, you should also agree to move on. Chance are, youve both made good arguments, stated your positions, and explained how you feel. Now is the time to be professional, rather than continuing to feel like your colleague has wronged you.You dont have to be best friends with the other person going forward, but you do have to continue to work with her. That may mean taking the high road and keeping your opinions to yourself. Thats okay youre not going to like everyone, and not everyones going to like you. Still, part of being a mature and professional person is understanding when a conflict has reached a conclusion and not dwelling on it.